Tobackoff #11: Won'tpower - The Arcane Art of Quitting Smoking

Later this month, I complete 7 non-smoking years, having moved overnight from 40-50 sticks a day to zero, ending my count at 500,000+ sticks over 26+ years.  I decided to write this post because I'm frequently asked how I did it. I suppose every ex-smoker has his pet formula: mine was "won'tpower", and it was a 3-step process. Here, then, are the steps: 1. Decide that you really want to quit: Believe it or not, this is the hardest part! Most smokers don't really want to quit, but it's fashionable to say that you do. So DECIDE ! Start that won'tpower engine. 2. Stop the associations:  Quitting smoking is difficult because it is ASSOCIATIVE. Yes, smoking associates with almost everything you do. Your early morning wake-up high; your morning dump. Your work. Your spouse’s “Not tonight, my dear, I have a headache” vibe…….and dozens of other things. CUT OUT these associations, one by one. Take 3 months to do it. 3. Go cold turkey: Once you're done with the associations, you're ready. STOP DEAD from tomorrow. You'll have THREE difficult days, not more. From the fourth, you're an ex-smoker.

Worklore #13 : Leader and Bleeders

Good leaders like to be challenged all the time - it inspires them, helps retain their edge, and makes them stronger. More importantly, it helps them to think laterally, ideate aggressively, and foster out-of-box thinking - with the result that the organisation grows, and the teams grow along with their leaders. Such leaders always recruit sharp, inquisitive, hungry people.
On the other hand,  bad leaders are invariably insecure managers - they like to be surrounded by people who are less qualified, who know less, who are non-confrontational, who are instruction-driven, who take readily to micro-management and who are not particularly ambitious. Bad leaders are invariably at the forefront of an army of obsequious, myopic, complacent people; and they spend far too much time with these people - at the cost of an indifferent organisation. Organisational culture feeds the seeds of leadership : most leaders are born, but some are also made. Look for such an organisation; and try and work with such leaders.

Worklore #12: The Office Dress Code - RIP

The snappily-dressed interviewee waiting at reception looked admiringly after a tall, arresting male in an impeccable suit who swept into the office with the general air of a busy managing director and vanished into an adjacent corridor. “Is that someone  terribly important ?” he asked the receptionist, who, without pausing in her typing, replied, “No, he’s an intern.” “Wow!” replies the wannabe employee. “Then why does he dress that way ?” “Because he would someday soon like to become someone very important." A bit later, a gentleman with dishevelled hair and stubble emerged from a door and crossed into a room at the other end. The first button of his shirt was undone, a sleeve was rolled up, and most of the shirt was sticking out of the back of his trousers. The interviewee looked after him with disfavour. “Wow! What a slob ! Who IS that, the  janitor ?” The receptionist glared at the candidate balefully: “That’s the Chairman of the Company.” “Jeepers ! Why is he dressed like that ?” “Because he has already become someone very important.” Anachronistic anecdote, isn’t it ? I heard it decades ago.  Today, when you walk into an office, how do you tell who’s who ? Where did the workplace dress code go ? And do we even need it any more ?

Worklore #11: Intrusive Interviewing - The Indian Reality

Earlier today, I read and “liked” an article on LinkedIn which expressed outrage at the fact that a prospective employer (abroad) had the temerity to ask for proof of an interviewee’s last drawn salary. And this led me to dwell, not for the first time, on the intrusive interview practices which are prevalent at the Indian workplace, and which are accepted as routine by the bulk of the working population.

Examples abound, and some of them are positively horrifying. Sexism, racism, political incorrectness, rudeness – they’re all there. A single lady is invariably asked when she’s planning to get married; a married one is asked when she’s planning to start a family! Someone who can’t speak English well is asked whether they can write it better; someone who’s changed many jobs is asked to describe the reason behind the change of each job, frequently going back a decade or more. And of course, every interviewee is asked to describe each component of his / her last pay drawn, and every salary at every job prior to that, and every grade at each major examination taken, and eventually to provide documentary evidence of everything.

After all this, the “optional extras” that are covered may include a leisurely understanding of the interviewee’s family and the profession, trade or calling of each individual member of that family; a discussion on the candidate’s hobbies, and so on.

The accent, it would seem, is on exposing the inadequacies of the interviewee, and on ensuring that he / she becomes radically self-aware in that behalf, if not already thus. Patent and latent weaknesses are dwelt upon in nauseating detail, whereas the need is clearly to identify strengths and discuss how those strengths can be leveraged to the benefit of the interviewer.  All this, of course, is done in the name of identifying the “cultural fit” – when the truth is that the interviewing company may not actually have any corporate culture to speak of in the first place.

This is not to say that every Indian organisation recruits people this way – but a large majority are doing it. Do you agree? What’s your experience?

Take #49: Kingsman - The Golden Circle

My biggest apprehension after seeing this film is that Salman Khan might poach the OTT bits for his next action film.

The trouble is, those bits constitute almost the entire movie.

It wasn't for nothing that the first Kingsman film was a sleeper hit - it was original, unconventional and fun and offered an interesting new alternative to, say, James Bond films.

Matthew Vaughn, a very competent director even on his worst day, decided differently: he decided to make this a Johnny English-type spy story sequel - minus the signature humour of the inimitable Rowan Atkinson.

The story line, although unoriginal, was promising and the cast of characters could have worked wonders if the caricaturisation and the crass bits had been dispensed with.

Crowd-pullers Channing Tatum and Halle Berry had very little to do in their "guest appearances" (Bollywood lingo)- but Elton John, playing himself in a unique avatar, was irrepressible.

To sum up, this was my most disappointing sequel in a decade or more.

Take #48: American Assassin

If you're an action film junkie, look no further than this for your weekly fix.

This is a cracking good entertainer in the tradition of the Bourne, Kingsman and Mechanic franchises. Although lacking the inventiveness and originality of the MI series, there's enough pace in this one to hold your attention. Special mention must be made of Michael Keaton in his role of the "warrior" ex-SEAL.

This movie will surprise you, because you would normally expect absolutely nothing from it. And they've even left room for a sequel.

Game for some onscreen mayhem ? Check this out!

Take #47: It

The trouble with this film is that there is so much that is unexplained that it dilutes the horror component. Barring the clown (Bill Skarsgaard), who is brilliant.

There is a fair bit of blood and gore à la John Carpenter, and a fairly effective, if loud background score to keep your goose pimples on the upswing for most of the time. 

A tad long but reasonably fast-moving, this is watchable for horror movie buffs and Stephen King fans, but has little to offer anybody else.

Take #46: Shubh Mangal Saavdhan

The hall was pretty full, and everyone left looking as though they got their 

money's 

worth; I didn't. 

Granted that this was a delicate subject, but it was handled, in the main, somewhat 

clumsily, and ended as limply as one of the liberally tea-dipped biscuits so eloquently showcased in the film. 

To be fair, though, the dialogue had its moments, and the performances were really very good - both by Ayushmann, the poster-boy of taboo-themed Indian Cinema, as well as by a slimmed-down Bhumi Pednekar, and also by some of the supporting cast. 

And oh- the movie was more about performance anxiety than about erectile dysfunction (which is what the reviews kept telling you) - although one can argue cause and effect on that one.

Worklore #10: Do Your Own Induction

We would all like to think, wouldn’t we, that the company we have just joined will put us through a structured induction programme so that we are onboarded in a fast, organised manner ?

Alas, all too often, the reality is something else entirely. Be that as it may, there is no reason to wait beyond the first 7 days, for such a process to be initiated. Simply make your own induction programme. Make room for casual introductions with as many relevant people as possible (ideally all major department heads), and then request them to give you a few minutes for you to drop in and have a chat. You won’t get a positive response from everyone, but it’s still better than nothing; and you may be surprised at how much grist for your beginner’s mill you are actually able to accumulate. Make sure to keep a finger on the cultural pulse of the organisation as you progress through this path, so that you are able to stay on the border between curiosity and intrusiveness without breaking any unwritten rules, treading on any toes and squandering what your boss may consider as quality work time. Remember, then : induct yourself; if you don't, it means that you don't know where you are; which in turns means that you’re already lost. Which makes for a really bad beginning.

Take #45: Annabelle - Creation

It's not just dead horses that lend themselves to flogging - it can be done with ghosts as well, and this movie proves that.

Admittedly, "The Conjuring", which was a sterling example of the horror genre, is a difficult act to follow; but even so, Annabelle: Creation seems to be a pish-pash of several horror films rolled into one. Lots of banging on the left hand side of the piano keyboard does occasionally bring out the goose pimples, but it's more a response to stimulus than anything else.

Slickly made, but somewhat tenuous, this is a good watch only for diehard horror movie buffs. For the rest - if you wish to lose sleep, a lifesize doll is not the best method.

Take #44: Mom

This is a good film, with a splendid performance by Sridevi, beautifully matched by Nawazuddin Siddiqui. 


A great deal of finesse in the handling of the story and an apt background score were among the many highlights of this thriller; but I thought the end could definitely have been improved upon.


Everyone in the packed theatre clearly felt this was a great weekend watch. Go see it!

Take #43: Kaabil

It's always a good idea to go to a movie expecting nothing- that way, even something moderately good will come as a pleasant surprise. And so it was with this one.


I actually don't like Hrithik too much, but he's essayed the role of a blind vengeful young man far better then I could have expected. Then, I hadn't seen Yami Gautam on screen, and I quite liked what I saw. Ronit Roy's villainous turn was pretty good, too. The only let-down was the way the script was handled- a storyline like this could have been built up far more credibly. Especially after a brilliant ten opening minutes.

Watchable enough. But if you decide to see it, go back to my opening sentence.

Take #42: John Wick - Chapter Two

Definitely not a film for the squeamish, this sequel has bodies piling up by the truckload and more than one shade of Kill Bill in it.


Comfortable room, too, has been left for Chapter Three.


Blood and gore apart, this is a slick film - good music, tight direction, smooth editing and a most interesting cast of characters (including Laurence Fishburne) with crisp cameos. There was a beautiful sequence in a mirrored room, faintly reminiscent of Enter The Dragon, but with a large splash of Dali.


This film is recommended for Keanu fans and those who were waiting for the sequel; to the rest, if violence and dark art are not your thing, stay as far away as you can.

Take #41: Jab Harry Met Sejal

Considering that the choice of words of the title was hardly accidental, the least Imtiaz Ali could have done was to craft the dialogue with some care, so as to be able to come across as at least a pale imitation of the iconic film whose name this one shamelessly imitates. But alas, no: the movie has scarcely any redeeming features at all. Apart from being a full 25 minutes longer than necessary (I twice thought it was ending, but it wasn't), the plot is wafer-thin and eventually flounders and sinks, leaving a perpetually mini-skirted Anushka clinging on to Shah Rukh for dear life. 

Don't waste your money on this one.

Worklore #9: ATG ~ Lowering The Boom On The Employee

In the early 90’s, when I was part of a company that was once a household name but suddenly took the path to extinction, a curious trend came into the company’s daily routine: senior officers, occupying large rooms with nameplates on the doors, seen attending meetings at 11 a.m., were abruptly history at 6 p.m – their rooms were stripped bare, the nameplates removed, the officer never again to be seen in those premises. And no one ever knew what exactly had happened.

This, we gradually learned, was a phenomenon called Asked To Go, and was soon to become an intrinsic part of most Indian companies’ delivered HR functionality. Nearly thirty years later, I find that this practice has indeed been woven into the fabric of standard organisational people practices  - to such an extent that I am moved to wonder why companies do not hire Heads – Talent Disposal with the same elan as they recruit Heads – Talent Acquisition.

ATG is like the sword of Damocles – it knows no rules, and it can fall without warning. Moreover, it does not differentiate between meritorious employees and non-achievers: I remember a shocked banker telling me that his colleague in an adjacent room , rated  “A” for 3 years running, had been told to go because his “role was no longer relevant”; another banker who was promoted to VP in the past year was shipped out the next year because her role had been “merged”.  And there is nothing in the ATG process in most organisations that permits it to be practised with dignity or with consideration, or indeed, with the employee’s interest in mind – borne out most recently by a viral audio clip of an anguished employee who was given his notice pay cheque and told to leave the same evening.

Astonishingly, the capacity to perform ATG is actually being viewed these days as a special skill – I am informed that some HR heads actually trumpet this activity as a specialization or an achievement. I am at a loss to understand how stamping on an ant, as it were, can be viewed as a skill or, for that matter, an achievement, in any country, in any era, anywhere.

The hapless employee is gradually beginning to realise that there are no guarantees, and that (s)he has to look out for himself / herself. The casualty of this situation is loyalty and ownership – and with some employees, it is ethics. I have met several employees who have been affected by ATG displacements – the reactions span the entire spectrum from rage to depression, but the effect remains the same: the employee is scarred, and his or her entire perspective of employment and employers changes, occasionally with disastrous future results.

Seasoned HR professionals argue that ATG is a necessary pimple in an organisation’s  route to maturity, to lean management, to sustainable profitability. Perhaps they are right; but then, compassion doesn’t have to take a holiday in the process. There is a wrong way of doing everything, just as there is a right way – and HR departments need to understand that IR never stood for  “Inhuman Resource” in the first place. Companies are about people, and sometimes those people have to go, but that departure needs to be a send-off, and not an ejection.

• 
  
• 
  

Worklore #8: Yesterday Is The New Tomorrow

Gone are the days when you were given 6 months to a year to settle down into a new job, and the days when your boss used to say to others that “(S)he’s still fairly new”, even ten months  into your tenure. A new workplace today is like the Skypak man’s domain – everything is wanted yesterday. Sounds daunting ? It isn’t, really. Here’s a quick survival guide:
1.      Remember that you’re technically an ‘old’ employee in just 30 days; so make every day count, don’t waste it.
2.      Get familiar with your organisation, environment, department, product portfolio  and work deliverables in two weeks or less.
3.      Don’t hide in your cubicle or your room – stay visible, and as vocal as is prudent. In other words, be seen, and within limits, be heard. Be pro-active rather than reactive.
4.      Once you feel like you’ve settled down (two weeks, remember ?), identify the departmental and the organisational priorities. Run these by your boss to make sure you’re not off-track.
5.      Target the low-hanging fruits, the problems that need resolution and have quick fixes with low investment in cost, time and stress.
6.      Don’t function in a vacuum. Interact within and outside the department, and ideally, across functions, to get a feel of what needs to happen and where you can contribute.
7.      You’ll encounter antagonism: soft-pedal, stay neutral and put it down on your to-do list.
8.      At the end of a month, define a 100-day target for yourself.

After Day 101, if you receive spontaneous feedback that suggests that it feels like you’ve already been there for a year, you know you’ve probably done something right.

Worklore #7: The Bus Stop Syndrome

Think about whether you've ever experienced this situation:

You're at a bus stop, waiting for your bus to arrive. It doesn't; but you keep waiting. Long minutes pass, until you actually start getting a little late for whatever it is that you wanted to get to. The crowd at the bus stop thins as other persons waiting with you get fed up and move out to seek other alternatives. You look at your watch and fume, but you're reluctant to go anywhere, since you’ve already been waiting so long. “Just a little longer,” you tell yourself. Soon, it’s too late. You can’t go anymore to that event or appointment or whatever; so, depressed, you get into a taxi and go home.

I call this the Bus Stop Syndrome. Don’t become a victim of it. Explore your options before your time runs out, or before it becomes too late. Just because something has been happening (or not happening) to you for a long time, doesn’t mean things have to stay that way. Explore that alternative: take your decision now, and move.

Worklore #6: Asset or Lie-ability ?

So why do people stuff false information into their c.v.’s and lie at interviews ? It all seems somewhat pointless, considering the kind of networking that’s possible these days, and also considering that background checks can be discreetly done at a relatively low cost. The system works a little slower than Pinocchio’s nose to expose creative c.v.-building, but it still does work.

Consider the case of the IIM Kolkata MBA who joined an MNC as a Regional Sales Head. Intelligent, affable, personable, he made an excellent first impression and settled down to his job really well. Until a young, alert HR Executive noticed that his IIM certificate seemed to look a different from the others in the personnel files. A couple of verification calls later, the RSH was out on his ear and the MNC was back to advertising the vacancy.

Then there was the case of the retired Air Force Officer who joined a prestigious club as its President, propped up a dandy little model Mig-21 on his desk and spent the time that he wasn’t discharging his duties narrating stories of his air force days to a fascinated audience. Until a new club member discovered that the revered President had, in fact, been of a very junior rank and the Mig-21 was probably a toy his son used to play with.

These are, of course, frauds. But there are the little white lies as well: “Have you made this cv yourself ?” “Yes, sir, I have” (and unsaid: “with a lot of help from naukri.com”). “Why do you want to leave this job ?” – “For better prospects” (and unsaid: “they shouldn’t have brought in someone over my head”). Unnecessary.

Bottomline: Don’t lie in your c.v. Don’t falsify facts. Don’t stretch the truth. Keep your creativity for the job, not the interview. It’s good to be optimistic and expect that you won’t get caught; but on the off-chance that you do, stop to consider the fact that nobody really likes a liar, and more importantly, nobody trusts one either. Even if you don’t actually get caught out in a falsehood, you could create a large enough gap between the matter in your c.v. and the persona that you’re presenting vis-à-vis, to leave behind a doubt as to your bonafides. If you haven’t given any BS in your profile, your interview is going to sound exactly like your bio-data reads: so your integrity and reputation are intact - even if you don’t actually get the job.

Worklore #5: The New Workplace

Employees have rarely had such an interesting time.

We've had first names and tie-less suits in use for some years now.

A year ago, an office of PwC introduced a norm that, except for client-facing employees, polished shoes and socks were no longer compulsory.

More recently, a couple of companies (as I recall, Accenture was one of them) canned the performance appraisal system.

Now, Tata Motors has announced that all designations will be done away with.

How does all this impact the ordinary employee, and what does it do for the Company's culture and working environment ?

Worklore #4: Parental Care ~ The Working Couple's Dilemma

More and more working couples at the tail-end of 25+ years of successful working lives are coming face to face with the quandary of how to contain and manage their priorities and their careers in a situation where their parents suddenly fall ill and need constant care and attention. The responsibility of a son or daughter is, after all, every bit as critical as that of a C-level manager in a corporate - possibly more so, because of the emotional and genetic connect. Is there a perfect solution, then ? Particularly in a country that hasn't even got around to addressing such things as paternity leave ? Different people are working different solutions out, but everyone is left somewhat dissatisfied : after all, there are only three immediate options - your home, their home or an old age home; and all three seem somehow imperfect. To add to the problem, geriatric care organisations are pathetically few. If you are over 45 and both of you work, and your parents are alone in another city and not in particularly good health, this is a question you need to address today; because tomorrow may be a little late for both sides. Do share your views on how you are coping, or on how you plan to cope.